I asked a question a late last week about going on vacation alone. Here was part of that post for details. Had planned a trip to France & Italy for 20th wedding anniversary. The vacation was to begin today and would last 20 days. Found out last Wednesday that my wife had a 3 month affair about 2 years ago. A mutual friend let the cat out of the bag and wife confessed and said it was a stupid mistake. That she was just going through some sort of midlife crisis (bologna) and that loved me very much.
After reading some of the responses here I told her to go ahead and go. She said didn’t want to go without me so I gave the tickets to brother and his wife and now they are gone on that trip. Instead of sitting around the house I went into work today and told boss that canceled vacation. Still want to get away from wife for a while to think but can not afford to go anywhere the planned trip wiped out most of savings. Could try and ask my brother for some of the money for the trip but it was more of a gift so as to not have the money be a complete waste. Also wouldn’t be able to do that tell he got back anyway. My problem now is been getting people asking me why I am back at work since had planned this trip for almost a year and now am at work instead of being gone.
Tell them your parents became ill – decided not to be away.
or something else along those lines.
Tell people that your wife had a family emergency and you had to change your plans. If people push for more detail tell them it’s a private family matter and that you appreciate their concern.
wow. that *****.
Just say you changed your plans. If someone pries, keep saying “I changed my plans.” It’s not their business and you are not obligated to indulge them.
Good luck.
Just tell them something came up and you couldn’t go.
Tell them that you had a family emergency and had to cancel your vacation. You don’t owe them any further explanation.
that *****! sorry to hear that…i would just tell them it’s a long story & you’d rather not talk about it.
take the leave and stay at home with your wife to work on your marriage. time together will do you wonders.
Why do you have to answer their questions? It’s none of their business. If they ask, just tell them the truth, that the trip was cancelled and walk away. No explanation necessary. You’re already going through a lot and don’t need the added hurt of trying to appease everyone. Too bad if they don’t like the answer.
you don’t have to explain the whole situation to your co-workers.
just say that your trip was cancelled because somebody in the family got sick or that you parents need you….. don’t worry too much about explaining things to people.
as for your trip alone, you can ask your brother for some money, but you should had probably asked him before giving the tickets.
sorry about what happened.
don’t make any decision now, talk to a marriage conselour, priest, people with experience in these situations, and specially with your wife………..
I’d say you have three problems. The easiest is work.
Just say ‘bummer, something came up (with the wife) and we couldn’t go’. That will answer 99% of those who ask. The rest are either those you will tell the rest or say ‘personal’.
The money is the next easiest. When your brother comes back if he asks say ‘yes it cost me $X,XXX so anything you can pay would help’. Then let it go.
As for the wife. I’d say that is your big question. You don’t sound too happy with her. Cancelling a major anniversary presnt trip was a loud and clear message of “I do not want to go away with you” and “I do not want to celebrate being marreid to you”. To a woman that is a very loud and clear message. In a woman’s mind it might be a worse crime than her cheating.
So I’d be planning on how soon you can get away from her for good. It sounds like you are not in the forgiving mood. Both she did it and if mutual friends know then you have been the laughing stock of your circle of friends for years. And that implies she was sleeping with your friend(s). Plus, you can’t help but wonder if this was the only time and then how many other guys over how many other times.
BC
tell them your wife got scared to fly because of the whole situation with that plane that crashed in the ocean like 2 weeks ago.. and now she has refused to fly bc she is afraid it will happen again….
i wouldnt say anything about a family emergency bc then they might ask about that.. and why are you still at work if there is a family emergency..